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Friday Flash – Flintlock Roulette

October 15, 2010 by Icy Sedgwick 34 Comments

“Garrrh, poker’s for wenches!” said Captain Scarlight.

He knocked back the last dregs of his grog, slamming the tankard on the table.

“You do keep winnin’, Cap’n,” replied First Mate Swein.

“That I do.”

“I heard talk of a game of roulette in these parts,” said Swein.

“Roulette is for wenches, too!”

“It makes a change from poker.”

“True. Garrh, alright then, where’s this roulette game?” asked the Captain.

“A bar near here. The Rotten Pegleg,” replied Swein.

“Then we go to the Rotten Pegleg!”

* * *

The Rotten Pegleg stood at the end of the quay. Candlelight fought its way through the grime caked on the windows, throwing misshapen shadows across the wharf. A peg leg infested with woodworm hung from a pole outside.

A toothless hag sat at the piano just inside the door. Her gnarled fingers laboured through a mournful dirge in the quiet bar. Four men loitered near a round table in the middle of the room. A fat man with a mop of hair the colour of dishwater stood behind the bar.

“Barkeep! I heard there was a game of roulette going on,” said Captain Scarlight.

“That there is. Yer in luck, me friend. We needed another player ‘fore we could get going,” said one of the men. He grinned, displaying a mouth of black teeth.

“Have ye ever played flintlock roulette?” asked another man. Twisted scars snaked up his face and under his bandanna, encrusted with sweat and filth.

“Can’t say I have, I’m a poker man, myself,” replied the Captain.

“I don’t like the sound of flintlock roulette,” said Swein.

“Ah, ye brought a wench with ye!” roared the black-toothed man. Swein blushed.

“This is my first mate,” said the Captain. “But I must have a drink before we play.”

The Captain walked over to the group. His gaze fell on a rusty cage in the shadows at the end of the bar. A beautiful blue parrot sat hunched on a perch, too large for the size of the cage. It looked at him with doleful eyes.

“What a beautiful bird!” said the Captain.

“He’s supposed to be my main attraction. I got ‘im from a passing gypsy. Little liar told me ‘e was telepathic, but I ain’t ‘eard anythin’ to prove it,” said the barkeeper.

“All the same, he’s gorgeous. What’s his name?” asked the Captain.

He stuck his finger through the bars and stroked the bird’s head. The parrot leaned nearer, enjoying the attention.

“Dunno, never bothered to give ‘im one. ‘E might end up in me dinner if ‘e doesn’t do something useful soon,” said the barkeeper. He handed Captain Scarlight a drink.

“I’ll take him,” said the Captain.

“Ah ‘e ain’t for sale,” said the barkeeper. “But if ye win yer game, I’ll reconsider.”

“Are ye ready, strange cap’n?” asked the pirate in the bandanna.

“That I am! So how do we play this?” asked the Captain.

“We put the deeds to our ships in the middle of the table. We get blindfolded, and walk around the table. The hag tells us when to stop. Ye sit down, pick up the flintlock in front of ye, and fire,” said the pirate.

“Only one of ‘em has shot in it. If ye get the shot, ye keep the ship of the man ye shot,” said the black-toothed pirate.

“That doesn’t sound like much fun,” said Captain Scarlight.

“Are ye yeller?” asked a third pirate.

“No, I just like my head where it is, thank you,” said the Captain.

The pirate in the bandanna pulled out a pistol. He aimed it at the Captain’s chest.

“Ye join in, or I shoot yer now.”

“I guess I’ll just have to play then, won’t I?” said the Captain. He turned to the barkeeper. “But I get the bird if I win.”

The barkeeper nodded. Swein moved to the door.

The pirates put on their blindfolds. They walked around the table, arms outstretched. The hag shouted, “Sit!” The pirates reached for the nearest seat. Captain Scarlight fell into a chair by the bar.

The pirates fumbled around the table. Their hands found the flintlocks, and five hands picked up five guns. Five thumbs cocked five hammers.

I would suggest you duck.

Captain Scarlight started at the voice in his head. He looked around, before remembering the blindfold.

My name is Methuselah, and I am the bird on the bar. Please trust me.

The voice made the Captain’s ears itch. He shook his head.

“Ready….aim….fire!” said the hag.

DUCK!

Captain Scarlight ducked. The deafening crack of a flintlock filled the room, followed by the thump of a lead shot into wood. The Captain tore off his blindfold to see a smoking gun pointed straight at him.

Scarlight scrambled out of his seat. The pirate holding the smoking gun pulled off his blindfold. His expression morphed from triumph into anger when he saw the hole in the wall.

“Cheat!” he screamed.

“Captain!” cried Swein.

Captain Scarlight grabbed the bird cage and ran across the room. The pirate tracked the captain across the bar, pulling the trigger until he remembered flintlocks held a single shot. The other pirates pulled off their blindfolds to see the commotion.

Swein yanked open the door and the Captain darted into the cold night air. Swein ran after him as the four pirates fell out of their seats in the hurry to pursue Scarlight and the stolen bird.

The Dead Calm lay further up the quay. Scarlight and Swein sprinted up the gangplank. The crew hauled the board onto the deck. The pursuing pirates missed their footing and plunged into the sea. Scarlight’s crew jeered at them as they cursed the Captain from the dark water.

“What’s this then, Cap’n?” asked Billy the Bosun.

Scarlight stood up and opened the cage. The parrot hopped onto his forearm.

“This is the newest member of our crew, er…”

Methuselah. My name is Methuselah.

* * *


If you’d like to read more tales of Captain Scarlight and Methuselah, click here!

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Filed Under: Flash Fiction, Parrots and Piracy Tagged With: flash fiction

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sam says

    October 15, 2010 at 9:00 am

    Hahaha! “I would suggest you duck,” nearly had me cholking on my coffee. A brilliant parrots and piracy installment.

    Reply
  2. Icy Sedgwick says

    October 15, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Pirates in Newcastle actually used to play flintlock roulette! I’d been struggling to think how they might have met, and I needed some kind of scenario in which they’re indebted to each other, so when my haunted pub guide told me about flintlock roulette, it was perfect!

    Reply
  3. Cupcake says

    October 15, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Nice idea, taking inspiration from the stories we were told on the haunted pub crawl. 😀

    Reply
  4. Icy Sedgwick says

    October 15, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I firmly believe you can find inspiration anywhere.

    Reply
  5. afullnessinbrevity says

    October 15, 2010 at 11:33 am

    w00t! All kinds of fantastic awesome! Love it. These two are so much fun. More parrots and piracy. A great way of bringing these two together.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    Reply
  6. Marisa Birns says

    October 15, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Loved finding out how the Captain and Methuselah met. 🙂

    Great description here! From the peg leg infested with woodworm hanging on the pole to the dishwater-colored hair, and the twisted dirty, sweaty scars.

    Reply
  7. Tony Noland says

    October 15, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    That is a very polite parrot.

    Reply
  8. The Four Part Land says

    October 15, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Love the parrot, and its sense of humour. Had me grinning ear to ear.

    Reply
  9. Jessica Rosen says

    October 15, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    This was great fun! Loved the parrot’s lines, so matter-of-fact. Your descriptions are wonderful. The windows, for example, made quite an impression on me. Thanks!

    Take care,
    Jess

    Reply
  10. Draco Torre says

    October 15, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Fun story. I’d be wary of a tavern with such a name. I like the hag.

    Reply
  11. shannon says

    October 15, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Awesome job with the dialect! Nasty little game but I’m glad he rescued the bird. Wonderful story…inspired from a haunted pub crawl? I’m so jealous, that sounds fun.

    Reply
  12. Gracie says

    October 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Marvelous! And what a… er, romantic meeting. 🙂

    I love these guys more with every story you tell. Just excellent!

    Reply
  13. CathrynLouis says

    October 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Cool. Would be nice to have a bird like that…

    Reply
  14. Laurita says

    October 15, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    What’s more fun than pirate speak? Nothing. That’s why your story is made of awesome.

    Reply
  15. Eric J. Krause says

    October 16, 2010 at 3:41 am

    Awesome story. Glad we now know how Methuselah joined up with the captain. And that’s one vicious game of roulette!

    Reply
  16. ~Tim says

    October 16, 2010 at 4:30 am

    We finally get the story of how the Captain and Methuselah met! And now I want to hear more about that haunted pub crawl.

    Reply
  17. placebythefire says

    October 16, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Loved it! Sounds like a useful parrot to know- I think I’ll be reading the other stories before too long…
    Kari @ The Best Place By The Fire

    Reply
  18. Steve Green says

    October 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Nice one, when flintlock roulette was first mentioned I thought “Nah, they only hold one bullet” but soon all was revealed. 🙂

    I can see the parrot becoming something of a celebrity too, and stealing all the best lines. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Icy Sedgwick says

    October 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Marisa – It’s a story I’ve been wanting to tell for a while, so I’m really glad people have liked it.

    Tony – He is very well-spoken, yes.

    Mr Four – He’s a debonair bird!

    Jessica – Thank you!

    David – Yes, you’d think the tavern’s name might have put them off, but Scarlight’s not known for his common sense…

    Shannon – Yes, our guide dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow and took us around some haunted pubs – epic fun!

    Grace – Oh there’s plenty more stories there, too!

    Cathryn – Oh tell me about it – I go to the zoo and see the parrots and get so disappointed when they’re not telepathic…

    Laurita – Ha, I’m glad you liked it!

    Eric – Heh, yeah, I had to tell this eventually!

    Tim – I might do a post about the haunted pub crawl, actually…

    Placebythefire – I hope you enjoy them!

    Steve – Methuselah’s my little avian rock star.

    Reply
  20. Pamila Payne says

    October 16, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I love Methuselah. He reminds me of Jeeves in the best possible way.

    Reply
  21. A. S. Boudreau says

    October 16, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    love the parrot! LOL 🙂

    Reply
  22. Crystal says

    October 16, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Ha ha ha that was great!

    Duck.

    Good thing he was smart enough to listen.

    Reply
  23. Monica Marier says

    October 16, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    Mexican standoff, roulette! Only slightly less awesome than a telepathic parrot! Truly fun and original, Icy. Well done, you!

    Reply
  24. vandamir says

    October 16, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Love the story of how they met. This was perfect! I love these two characters.

    Reply
  25. John Wiswell says

    October 17, 2010 at 10:11 am

    It’s clear you enjoy writing that mouthy bird, despite Methuselah’s lack of a mouth.

    Hurray for Mexican standoffs!

    Reply
  26. mazzz_in_Leeds says

    October 17, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Methuselah rocks!
    Did anyone else have a childish gigle at the thought of a parrot saying “duck”?

    Reply
  27. AidanF says

    October 17, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Another origin story this week. I enjoyed learning how Captain Scarlight and Methuselah met. One question, did the Captain ever put his deed on the table? I gather he didn’t and the pirates didn’t care since they thought they’d get the deed after his death anyways.

    Reply
  28. Carrie says

    October 17, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    Getting around to reading…FINALLY! Apologies for being late to the party. This had a nice genuine feel to it reminiscent of real piratey-type activity. Thusie seriously wanted out of that cage, a clever tactic. But how did he know the good Capt’n was really good eh?

    Reply
  29. Mari says

    October 17, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    Ohh, finally we got to know how they met! Love the pirate talk and the connection between them. I’d hate to see Methuselah becoming some stinky pirate’s dinner. He’s too cool for cooking! lol

    Reply
  30. Cathy Webster (Olliffe) says

    October 18, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Icy, that was a terrific story. TERRIFIC! I read it this morning with my coffee and I was totally immersed in it! The captain is very likeable – I kept picturing a young Harrison Ford. The parrot is outstanding. I love the pairing but this, I think is the best one yet. My pulse raced as the adventure intensified.
    Way to go, girl!

    Reply
  31. G.P. Ching says

    October 19, 2010 at 12:09 am

    When I grow up, I want to be a toothless hag. They are in all the best stories. This was fabulous! I love these two and to finally learn how they came together did not disappoint. You have the “pirate” voice down.

    Reply
  32. katen says

    October 19, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Love it! The dialogue in these pieces is so good. Really first class, Icy.

    Reply
  33. flyingscribbler says

    October 21, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    I will be reading your other Scarlight stories, but you are right, they can be really enjoyed as stand-alone stories. Are you sure you’re not a pirate? The dialog is great Icy.And I love the hag: I have a picture of her drumming out a very perky pirate-type ditty.

    Reply
  34. ganymeder says

    November 6, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    The bird has more brains than the Captain, and I’m glad they ended up together. Seems like they’ll be good for each other!

    Nicely told.

    Reply

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Who is Icy Sedgwick?

icy sedgwick

Icy is a folklore blogger and host of the Fabulous Folklore podcast. She is based in the north east of England, where she was born and raised amid the folk tales and legends of Tyneside and Northumberland. Icy is fascinated by history, cinema, art, and the occult, and griffins will always be her favourite mythical beast. She also writes dark fantasy novellas, Gothic short stories and the occasional weird Western, and she holds a PhD in Film Studies!

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