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Friday Flash – Man Flu

December 3, 2010 by Icy Sedgwick 33 Comments

Franklin rolled over and groaned for the third time. He buried his face under his arm to blot out the light. He thought he’d read somewhere that photosensitivity was a sign of something incurable. Was that true, or did he just overhear it on the bus? It didn’t matter. He was sure he was dying. Franklin risked a look at Eleanor but she kept her back to him, ignoring his plight. She always did this. She never believed he was ill. Franklin tried another groan.

“Oh would you pipe down over there? All this moaning and groaning – it’s enough to drive me mad,” snapped Eleanor.

Her hands worked across the wall, smoothing the thick paste in place. Franklin forgot he was sick for an instant while he admired her decorating skills. A tickle in his throat forced him to cough and he remembered his illness.

“Don’t you care I’m dying?” asked Franklin.

“I don’t care what you do, as long as you’re quiet about it. Can’t you see I’m busy?” Eleanor turned around.

“What’s so important that you can’t tend to your sick husband?” asked Franklin. He coughed again to emphasise his point.

“You’re not sick, you’re just too lazy to help with the housework. This mucus doesn’t rearrange itself, you know!” replied Eleanor. “Anyway, what’s wrong with you?”

“I think I’ve caught a human. A nasty one,” said Franklin.

“Oh not again! You always-” began Eleanor.

“I tell you, there’s far too many of them at this time of year! Cousin Pneumonia caught one last week when she was minding her own business on the bus and Measles down the road got four on the trot,” said Franklin.

Eleanor rolled her eyes at him.

“Franklin James Influenza, you never cease to amaze me. You should learn to pull yourself together – you’ve only got man flu!”

* * *
This flash was inspired by a random Twitter conversation with Monica Marier, in which I asked what I should write about, and she suggested the cold and flu season – with a twist!

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Filed Under: Creative Writing, Flash Fiction

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Carrie says

    December 3, 2010 at 9:09 am

    Adorable and wow, pull the camera back and unbelievable. Good to know we can infect them right back!

    Reply
  2. Icy Sedgwick says

    December 3, 2010 at 9:15 am

    Told you it was going to be a slice of silliness! I think I was having a bit of an eccentric day when I thought this would be a good idea.

    Reply
  3. Sam says

    December 3, 2010 at 9:18 am

    Superb, and I love the twist! I think I may have married Eleanor’s sister! 😉

    Reply
  4. Jen Brubacher says

    December 3, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Ok, even with the title and lead-up I didn’t see it coming! Fantastic, Icy. 🙂

    Reply
  5. mazzz_in_Leeds says

    December 3, 2010 at 10:42 am

    haha! Cleverly done 🙂
    I’m going to refer to the flu as Franklin James from now on, to confuse my non-fridayflash participating friends!

    Reply
  6. afullnessinbrevity says

    December 3, 2010 at 11:39 am

    A clever stroke of whimsy, delightfully executed.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    Reply
  7. ganymeder says

    December 3, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    That Influenza sounds like a hypochondriac anyway. His poor wife! Men aren’t that bad… No, wait… 🙂

    Cute twist! Try not to catch anything this season, or anyone… lol

    Reply
  8. Cathy Webster (Olliffe) says

    December 3, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Great title! Sounds like something on one of those young women novels at the bookstore.
    Cool, fun little romp, Icy. Got a giggle this morning, thanks!

    Reply
  9. G.P. Ching says

    December 3, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    What a great concept and I like this better than the reality. And I think Mazz has a great idea. Tell Franklin James to stay away from me. Hey I’ve got to go get me Franklin James shot. I like it. I really really do.

    Reply
  10. Monica Marier says

    December 3, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    MUCH better than my idea. This was *brilliant* Icy.
    Did you know that US had a famous president-and-wife team named Franklin and Eleanor? : )

    (Speaking of which There’s a bronchitis out there that’s got Me.)

    Reply
  11. Eric J. Krause says

    December 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    That was quite a twist! Too funny! Ol’ influenza reminds me of me. I’m such a baby when I get sick. My wife picks on me relentlessly for being such a drama queen.

    Reply
  12. Gracie says

    December 3, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Ha, too funny! You even make flu season fun and enjoyable, Dr. Icy. 🙂

    Yep, even with the title and buildup, I didn’t see it coming. Great story!

    Reply
  13. Jim Bronyaur says

    December 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Awesome. Loved the twist… made me laugh. 🙂

    Reply
  14. shannon says

    December 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    LOL, love it when there’s a great surprise twist like this! And men are definitely babies when they get sick, so maybe the whining is just a symptom of the man flu 🙂

    Reply
  15. theothersideofdeanna says

    December 3, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Poor Franklin! He’s gonna be sicker than he already is quite soon I bet.
    This was fun Icy!

    Reply
  16. Rachel Blackbirdsong says

    December 3, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    lOL Franklin James Influenza! Love it…so we’re not catching colds or the flu, etc., they’re catching us. Well to the flu I had last week, all I can say is that I hope you suffered, because I sure did. Great story, brilliant concept.

    Reply
  17. The Four Part Land says

    December 3, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Love the story, gave me a good chuckle.

    Reply
  18. daniellelapaglia says

    December 3, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    Ha! See, all manner of men are wuss’ when it comes to being sick! LOL

    Reply
  19. Steve Green says

    December 3, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    Very unusual concept Icy, really well done.

    Reply
  20. Raven Corinn Carluk says

    December 4, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Ha! Quite amusing.

    Reply
  21. Icy Sedgwick says

    December 4, 2010 at 12:04 am

    I’m glad everyone is getting a giggle out of this. It might not be high literature but it’s aiming to be entertaining.

    Reply
  22. John Wiswell says

    December 4, 2010 at 12:37 am

    People do sometimes remind me of diseases. There’s this one lady I met who is the spitting image of a bout of bronchitis I had back in ’95.

    minor typo: third paragraph, “forget” for “forgot”

    Reply
  23. Jax says

    December 4, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Very funny! The twist was a perfect new look ‘man’ flu.

    Reply
  24. Seleste says

    December 4, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    So funny! <3

    Reply
  25. Icy Sedgwick says

    December 4, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    Glad everyone has been enjoying this! (John, thanks for the typo mention, now fixed)

    Reply
  26. Stephen says

    December 4, 2010 at 11:03 pm

    What happens when the flu catches a human? Funny stuff, that’s what. I love how you anthropomorphized viruses. It gives a nice twist.

    Reply
  27. Maria A. Kelly says

    December 5, 2010 at 12:19 am

    This reminds me of a story I wrote not too long ago called “Immunity” where sickness was told from the germs POV. Yours is much funnier, though. I love the whole sick male thing because that’s just how they act when they’re sick.

    Reply
  28. Jessica Rosen says

    December 5, 2010 at 4:21 am

    What a great twist – I loved it! That’s what I get for assuming a character is human. I’ll be more careful next time.

    Take care,
    Jess

    Reply
  29. PJ says

    December 5, 2010 at 5:02 am

    Very cute, Icy – I’m hoping both humans and bugs can remain healthy for awhile 🙂

    Reply
  30. AidanF says

    December 5, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Icy, interesting spin. The names Franklin and Eleanor made me think about the American president (and his wife) . I like Eleanor’s spunk.

    Reply
  31. Harry says

    December 6, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    It must be terribly upsetting for Eleanor, right when she has everything just so, I blow my nose.

    Crazy, nutty fun Icy!

    Reply
  32. Rebecca Emin says

    December 6, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    Ha! I like the twist in this.

    Reply
  33. flyingscribbler says

    December 9, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    It might not be high literature as you say Icy, but it’s funny, quirky, has great dialog and works. We all need to laugh some of the time, don’t we?

    Reply

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Who is Icy Sedgwick?

icy sedgwick

Icy is a folklore blogger and host of the Fabulous Folklore podcast. She is based in the north east of England, where she was born and raised amid the folk tales and legends of Tyneside and Northumberland. Icy is fascinated by history, cinema, art, and the occult, and griffins will always be her favourite mythical beast. She also writes dark fantasy novellas, Gothic short stories and the occasional weird Western, and she holds a PhD in Film Studies!

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