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Most excellent! Some great ideas in here – the bell tolling, the crossroads, his final destination…
But I reckon the horse kicked him in. Horses are evil.
Finally: last orders at the bar(n)? – Anyone? No? Sorry.
Icy, you just can’t end it there!
That poor sod, just trying to help and then, wham, he ends up in the coffin.
THIS WAS GREAT.
The suspense, the atmosphere, all of it sucked me in and put me right in that barren place. Well, well done!
I agree with Cathy – I want to know more! Great atmosphere/setting, and I liked Edward’s character – he seemed like a very well-meaning fellow. Poor man.
Jack – How could the horse have kicked him when there was no one behind him? It’s a case for Jonathan Creek…
Cathy – Haha, sorry! Glad you liked it though.
Allie – I’ve been doing loads of reading on the Gothic and I think it’s bled into my writing…
Loved it! Fabulous atmosphere. It reminded me a bit of the old jack-o-lantern stories. The ending was wicked.
I really like this. Edward is wonderfully realised and the tension is superbly done – great stuff!
The build to the end was great. Poor guy… he should have just run for it.
I kept yelling, “NO! You saw the signpost. Go to Cransland House.” But he must not have heard me.
These demons are getting lazy, getting people to dig their own graves…
Great story.
Ha! Fantastic! I’m wondering if the horse pushed him in. O_o
Poor Edward!
And the moral of the story is: “Don’t help people.” Or maybe: “Listen to your horse.”
Poor guy, always felt doomed but I hoped at least for his horse.
No good deed goes unpunished, eh? This is a great character sketch, I was bummed to see him come to this end.
I’m with Jack and Carrie, the horse is a prime suspect even if she tried to warn Edward.
I guess that’s why we have the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
I really liked how you managed to really jack up our sympathies to Ed in such a short piece. He’s just some guy late for an appointment when he throws it all aside to try and help somebody.
Super piece!
You do such an excellent job of painting the atmosphere in your stories. He should have listened to his horse.
Y’know Icy, if my memory serves me well, we’ve learnt the dangers that crossroads hold on these pages before, oh if only Edward had done a little backreading before setting out on his adventure…
And of course you ARE going to write a follow-on… Aren’t you?… Please?
Oh my I wasn’t expecting that ending.
Love the slow build up of tension Icy and the reference to “Dead Ringers’ – now I want to know, no, need to know what happens next! ^__^
This is why you always listen to your animal sidekick! Horse, dog, cat, whatever. Just follow their lead and walk on. Great read, Icy.
Hey! That ending is a tease! Where’s the rest?
Pow – the suspense was awesome – I love it. Well done Icy!
Very atmospheric and scary.. I was right in amongst the action. Some fantastic phrases and evocation of place, events and a sense of urgency “his teeth chewing his lip in time to the bell’s call.” Fab stuff Icy
At last, I have found a way to comment!!! I’ve joined the club (doh)