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#FridayFlash – The Raid

July 20, 2012 by Icy Sedgwick 14 Comments

The man in the pinstripe suit strolled down the alley. To his left lay a Chinese restaurant, to his right, the Joseph Street Mission. He chose to ignore both, heading for a set of stairs at the rear of the mission. His footsteps rang out on the rusty iron, and he descended below street level into a cramped vestibule.

“Name?” A man built like a brick outhouse blocked his progress.

“You don’t need to know my name, but I am here on the recommendation of Styles.”

“Enter.” The large man moved aside, his expression blank and glassy in the gloom. He held back a thick velvet curtain and allowed the man in the pinstripe suit to pass.

Sizzling jazz filled the smoky air of the illicit den behind the curtain. The man made his way between the crowded tables to an empty table near the stage. Dancing girls skipped and wiggled in time with the band. The man named Styles sat two tables away, surrounded by oversized goons in matching suits. The man hung his black overcoat on the back of the chair and sat down, placing his fedora on the table.

“Get you anything?”

A red-haired girl appeared at his elbow, clad in the same powder blue outfit as the chorus girls on stage. She held an empty tray at an angle designed to deflect wandering hands.

“Just a coffee will suffice, thank you.” The man in the pinstripe suit smiled.

“Ya ain’t a regular here, are ya?” The girl raised an eyebrow.

“No, you could say that. I have been a frequent visitor to Chicago over the years, although this is my first visit to this establishment.”

“Are you British?”

“Mostly.” The man in the pinstripe suit winked.

The girl peered over her shoulder before leaning in close.

“I don’t wanna speak out of turn, mister, but I got a bad feelin’ about tonight. You seem like a nice guy…maybe you should try the coffee house down the street.”

“I shall be perfectly safe here, my dear, but I appreciate your concern all the same. As it happens, I am here for work purposes.”

“Are you a cop?” The girl straightened up and threw worried glances from side to side.

“Not at all, I assure you. Now, I prefer my coffee black and without sugar, thank you.”

The girl nodded and threaded her way between the tables.  The man in the pinstripe suit sat back in his chair and watched the band. Music fascinated him, and he often wondered what direction his life might have taken had he chosen to pursue such a career. The thought made him grimace; his job was his life, and not one he had the luxury to choose, or leave.

The waitress reappeared with his coffee. She put the cup on the table, evidently amused that someone would order coffee and actually just want coffee. The girl turned to leave, and the man reached out to grasp her wrist. She stared down at him.

“I would not normally do this, but I happen to share your bad feeling about this evening. Perhaps it would be wise for you to leave early. I am sure your mother would be glad of your company tonight.”

She opened her eyes wide, and nodded. The man patted her hand and released his grip on her arm. She darted across the room and disappeared through a door near the bar.

Moments later, the large man guarding the entrance tumbled down the stairs and landed in a heap on the floor. The man in the pinstripe suit retrieved a silver pocket watch from his waistcoat, checked the time, and smiled. Four men raced down the stairs and clambered over the twisted body of the guard. They brandished tommy guns, and the staccato song of their bullets drowned out the music of the band.

The entourage surrounding Styles rose to return fire, and two men squeezed out retaliatory shots before they fell backward, crimson flowers blooming on their white shirts. The man picked up his cup and took a sip of coffee. The men with tommy guns advanced into the speakeasy, forcing back the panicked throng of drinkers. Styles cowered behind a large bald man with a revolver, but more gunfire cut the bodyguard down. The man in the pinstripe suit took another sip of coffee. A stray bullet thumped into the table before him, sending splinters in all directions.

Two of the band members cast aside their instruments and pulled out shotguns. The man in the pinstripe suit stared – he hadn’t seen a Browning Auto-5 in ten years. One of them shot Styles, while the other took out two of the tommy gun boys.

The man sat his empty cup in its saucer, and stood up. Silence reigned and the dust settled over hiding patrons and dead bodies alike. The man in the pinstripe suit pulled a pencil and a small notebook from his breast pocket. He tapped it in the air like a grotesque conductor, counting the bodies strewn across the floor. He checked the number again, and made a tally in the small notebook.

He put on his fedora and picked up his overcoat. He picked his away across the room, smiling at the shaken survivors he passed.

“I’d say that it might be wise for you to leave now. You’ve escaped this time, but I shall see you all again. Some sooner than others.”

He climbed the stairs and strolled out into the cool night. The wolf bark of sirens filled the air as he opened a nondescript black door across the alley, and disappeared into eternity.

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Filed Under: Creative Writing, Flash Fiction

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sulci Collective says

    July 20, 2012 at 6:46 am

    I got the feeling this was the Devil in disguise? Don’t you just love that period of Prohibition, citizens voting with their mouths, gangsters, dancing girls, jazz & the word ‘Speakeasy’? You created the atmosphere of that time right on the nail.

    marc

    Reply
  2. flyingscribbler says

    July 20, 2012 at 7:05 am

    I rather like your mysterious, coffee-drinking hero. The touch of kindness to the waitress gives him added depth, and dare I say it, soul. I wasn’t sure if he is the orchestrator of events or a tourist fom the other side, but either way, your story intrigues and delights in its details.

    Reply
  3. Helen says

    July 20, 2012 at 7:27 am

    I think he was a modern day grim reaper. Nice atomosphere to this piece. I liked the mysterious man and his consideration to the girl.

    Reply
  4. C.M.Brown says

    July 20, 2012 at 9:04 am

    I believe it was the grim reaper too, Helen. Enjoyed the mysterious atmosphere you created! Your descriptions had me believing I was there, withing the club listening to the jazz, watching the dancing girls etc!

    Reply
  5. John Wiswell says

    July 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    My favorite part was his “mostly” line. I’d probably never talk to him again after that.

    Reply
  6. Tony Noland says

    July 20, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Ah, Death. I admire your restraint in not drinking on the job.

    Great atmosphere, Icy. Done to a T.

    Reply
  7. Katherine Hajer says

    July 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Death as a tourist at his own events — great idea, great scene. I suppose he would drink coffee, since he never sleeps.

    Reply
  8. CharlotteC says

    July 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Spine chilling, realLy good

    Reply
  9. daniellelapaglia says

    July 20, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Nicely done, Ms. Von Doom. I love reading about different incarnations of Death.

    Reply
  10. Steve Green says

    July 20, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    A pinstriped, coffee drinking reaper, I think his job must be such fun, and blending in with the crowd definitely an advantage.

    Reply
  11. Sonya Clark says

    July 21, 2012 at 2:50 am

    I love a good reaper story! This was thoroughly enjoyable.

    Reply
  12. tokidokizenzen says

    July 21, 2012 at 4:25 am

    Two thumbs up, Icy. I too enjoy seeing the various ways the Grim Reaper appears in fiction, and your 1920s Chicago version is one of the coolest I’ve seen so far. I agree with flyingscribbler about the kindness to the waitress: a masterful addition; a perfect detail. Well done!

    Reply
  13. afullnessinbrevity says

    July 21, 2012 at 6:56 am

    A suit maketh the man. Or in this case, Death. I always think of him as a snappy dresser.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    Reply
  14. Tim VanSant Writes says

    July 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I suppose the reaper is always the coolest guy in the room. Nice one.

    Reply

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Who is Icy Sedgwick?

icy sedgwick

Icy is a folklore blogger and host of the Fabulous Folklore podcast. She is based in the north east of England, where she was born and raised amid the folk tales and legends of Tyneside and Northumberland. Icy is fascinated by history, cinema, art, and the occult, and griffins will always be her favourite mythical beast. She also writes dark fantasy novellas, Gothic short stories and the occasional weird Western, and she holds a PhD in Film Studies!

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