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Why Guilt Trips Don’t Help Writers

June 15, 2015 by Icy Sedgwick 7 Comments

Why Guilt Trips Don't Help Writers
Adolf Hölzel, Der Liebesbrief
If you’re anything like me, you probably read a lot of blogs about writing. You probably read about writing more than you actually do any writing.

But I’ve noticed a real upswing in posts that either prescribe daily word counts, or daily time periods that must be spent writing.

All of them have the same guilt trips – you must write, or you’re not a real writer.

Everyone is busy these days. It’s a strange side effect of a world filled with adverts for yet more time-saving appliances. What I find so unhelpful is the sanctimonious posts telling you to cut down on the amount of TV you watch, or the number of social engagements you have, just to put in a word count.

The word “sacrifice” gets bandied about a lot. That’s fair enough if someone genuinely is spending their time on so-called ‘frivolous’ pursuits when they could be writing. I can see why another writer who puts in three hours an evening might not view another writer who doesn’t have time to write but binge watches programmes on Netflix as a serious writer. BUT.

Some of us do have other commitments that we just can’t put off in favour of a word count.

why guilt trips don't help writersIf your child wants swimming lessons, and you want to take them to the pool every week, then it is not in any way helpful to be told you’re not a “real writer” because you can’t find time to write if you’ve prioritised your child. You don’t need these guilt trips that make you feel resentful. If you suffer from some kind of illness which means just sitting up is an effort that you can’t always make, and writing is the least of your worries, then being told you’re no longer a real writer is upsetting and unnecessary.

I don’t just write fiction, I’m also working on a PhD, and I can just see my supervisor’s face if I told him I couldn’t meet a deadline because I had fiction to write. Sometimes I’ve put in so many words on my thesis that I just can’t face switching horses and spending another two hours writing fiction. I just need a break. But if I have a break, I’m not a “real writer” because I haven’t been sneezing adjectives and nouns since I woke up.

Who do you think you are to tell me I’m not a “real writer” just because I haven’t hit a daily word count?

I think a lot of it comes from two main causes.

Competition

A real sense of competition now accompanies writing. Writing bloggers keep telling us we need to be constantly writing and releasing new titles to satisfy the army of rabid readers who are apparently hooked up to their Kindles 24/7, and if we take a couple of days off from writing because we have other things to do, then we’re not real writers. We might as well give up and let someone else do it, because that other someone obviously wants it more. In other words? Guilt trips.

why guilt trips don't help writersBullshit. What happened to being supportive of others? I’ve read blogs by some writers who boast about all of the things they balance while being able to get writing done. Hey, well done to them. But they are not me, and I am not them. Writing is not a ‘one size fits all’ occupation.

There really is no such thing as privacy now we put our lives online, but a line has been crossed. If you put your life online, other people feel they have the right to comment on it. What was once your own business now becomes common knowledge, and fair game to be picked apart. I once had someone tell me that if my PhD was “getting in the way” of my writing then I should stop doing it. Sorry, but a) my PhD factors into my long term career plan so it’s actually necessary, b) the chances of me being able to make a full-time living from writing and therefore not needing the PhD are slim to none, and c) who are you to tell me how to spend my time?

Writing should not be a chore

It should not be something that is subject to guilt trips. No, that’s not a free pass for you to spend every waking minute doing anything but writing, and then complain you have no time to write, but there are writers who genuinely have other commitments that do have to take priority from time to time, and we’re kind of sick of being told we’re not “real” writers.

If I write, then I’m a writer – I just don’t need to write 3000 words a day in order to qualify. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments!

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Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: #mondayblogs, About Writing, finding time, guilt trips, why guilt trips don't help writers, word counts, writers

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Adam B says

    June 15, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    I completely agree, Icy. Much of the commentary on writing, word counts etc feels like a smoke screen to either hide a person’s fears or a prideful boasting. Either way, write when and how you can. It’s what I do.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    Reply
    • Icy Sedgwick says

      June 15, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      I just figure most people don’t respond well to guilt trips about what they should be doing!

      Reply
  2. Tony Noland says

    June 15, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Insightful, Icy. One of the unfortunate effects of the internet in general, and social media in particular, is that extreme cases end up being taken for the norm. The most clever, the hardest working, the best balanced, the very happiest, the most successful, etc. are the standards of how clever, diligent, balanced, happy, successful, etc. we are “supposed” to be.

    Anything less, and you’re not serious enough, you’re not committed enough, you’re not a real writer. It’s a discouraging message to have to see, over and over.

    Reply
    • Icy Sedgwick says

      June 15, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      It’s particularly problematic when new writers then take up the same mantra, and begin telling more established writers how much they need to write every day, based on either what they manage, or what they’ve read. I see writers boasting of writing 3k words a day, and disparaging people who write a couple of paragraphs a week, and the more productive ones seem to think they’re better than the ones for whom life gets in the way. It’s an idiotic mindset.

      Reply
  3. Scath says

    June 15, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Agree with all of the above, and would like to add that “binge watching/reading” isn’t necessarily a procrastination thing, frivolous or otherwise.

    It’s subconscious well filling. Everything we experience/consume is fodder for stories. While our wells may never run dry, sometimes we can’t get the lid off after finishing a project, so the binge thing is a way of oiling the hinges.

    Reply
    • Icy Sedgwick says

      June 15, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Very true! (And reading is never frivolous *wink*) I suppose I’ve fallen into the same trap as the bloggers I’m taking issue with, though I suppose it would depend what you’re binge watching! You are right though, sometimes things that are seen as distractions or procrastinating are more refuelling before more work gets done.

      Reply
  4. Helen A. Howell says

    June 15, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    I think the internet serves to make some of us feel like failures, you read what others are supposedly achieving and you feel you don’t make the mark. Hence I’ve taken a step back from it all. Write when I feel like it now, which is not that often any more. Tired of being made to feel like I’ve failed.

    Reply

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Who is Icy Sedgwick?

icy sedgwick

Icy is a folklore blogger and host of the Fabulous Folklore podcast. She is based in the north east of England, where she was born and raised amid the folk tales and legends of Tyneside and Northumberland. Icy is fascinated by history, cinema, art, and the occult, and griffins will always be her favourite mythical beast. She also writes dark fantasy novellas, Gothic short stories and the occasional weird Western, and she holds a PhD in Film Studies!

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